I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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