she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
