The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
