We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
