this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
