what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The feeling are messing with the penis
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
