Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
