where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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