Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
