if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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