Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
