You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
