I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize