I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize