I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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