ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize