HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
