are you still at the devil's house?
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize