i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize