Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
