I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize