I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize