Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
