Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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