Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
