IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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