Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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