I looked at my own cervix.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
be right there i have to get my cape
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
