Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Sober January is a disaster.
vagina is talking i cant
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
