You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
