And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am mentally ready for anal.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
