Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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