I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
