So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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