whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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