I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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