Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
