The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
420 ftw
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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