In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
