Jerry, you need to find god
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
