i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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