i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
