I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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