got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
