I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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