Ambien. No doubt about it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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