Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
