god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
