I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
