Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
