Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
