He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
