Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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