i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
