he shaved USA in his pubs
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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