i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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