Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
