She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
