you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
