Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
